Finding Forgiveness

We are given many reasons to forgive those who have wronged us. Advocates may cite scripture, Karma, personal health, psychology, or family unity. Forgiveness is not easy — sometimes it can take a lifetime to be able to accomplish that task.

Most religions order us to forgive — in Christianity we are told to “turn the other cheek”. This can be hard to reconcile with psychiatric advice to “stand up for yourself” — but forgiveness can be a hidden blessing to you. Refusing to forgive creates a burden on the one who was wronged. It means you are carrying a connection to that abuse, strengthening your memory of being a victim. Know that forgiving someone does NOT mean you condone their actions, just that you are ready to move on with your own life and release the connection to that past pain. Doing this may help reduce current pain you carry.

Sometimes the person who wronged you will not accept forgiveness. They are adamant that they did nothing wrong (or even that they did nothing at all). It can be very hard to forgive when others deny that your trauma even happened. But forgiveness is for YOU, not for them. You can forgive someone in your heart, even after they have died or you have had to cut off all contact for your own safety. You can write a letter that you do not send, or include your forgiveness in a prayer. If you are sincere, it will be as if a burden is lifted from your shoulders.

Sometimes finding reasons or explanation (NOT excuses, NOT justifications) for the other person’s bad behavior can help you find a way to forgive:

  • The person didn’t realize they were harming you
  • The person suffered similar harm and thought such behavior was normal
  • The person had no role model to teach them proper behavior
  • The person was sent to teach you a karmic lesson
  • The person has a mental disorder or impulse control illness
  • The person was projecting their hatred of someone else onto you
  • Carrying the memory is hurting you more than them

Know that forgiveness can be a private thing. You have no obligation to tell others that you have forgiven someone. Also know that in most cases the abuse is not personal, not because of something you did — you were just there, so you became the target. As an adult, you can walk away. You can remove toxic people from your life by cutting off any physical or verbal contact. To cut the final spiritual connection, find it in yourself to forgive.

 

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Get Your Scare On (Monster Fest 2013 panel on Writing Horror)

Rough History of Horror Fiction

H.P. Lovecraft’s most famous quote about the genre is that: “The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.” The first horror story was probably told around a fire by a caveman.

The roots of horror lie in folklore and religion — for Europeans in the Middle Ages that covered death, the afterlife, evil (represented by witches, vampires, ghosts, and demons). Greek mythology had a bit more diversity: giants, monsters, curses, and magical creatures and objects.

The 18th century spawned Gothic Horror, which drew on the supernatural over realism–typically represented by a female menaced in a gloomy castle. This trope was so pervasive, it spawned the sub-genre of Gothic Romance.

The 19th century brought the “classic” monsters: Frankenstein, Jekyll/Hyde, Dorian Gray, Dracula, etc. It also brought us the body of work by Poe.

The 20th century added new twists: Weird Tales, madness/cruelty, cosmic horror (Cthulhu), the antequarian ghost story (discovering a book or object that triggers evil), slasher films, splatter films, Tales from the Crypt, I am Legend (apocalyptic zombie like Romero’s) , Daphne de Maurier’s “The Birds” (eco-disaster)

Contemporary horror has enlarged the genre, with new tropes and revivals of older styles. With writers such as Stephen King, Laurell K. Hamilton, Dean Koontz, contemporary horror includes were-animals, urban fantasy, erotic gothic (vampires and more), alternate history, mashups, and grindhouse revivals .

Why Write/Read Horror?

Robert McCammon, one of the founders of HWA (Horror Writers of America), said, “Horror fiction upsets apple carts, burns old buildings, and stampedes the horses; it questions and yearns for answers, and it takes nothing for granted. It’s not safe, and it probably rots your teeth, too. Horror fiction can be a guide through a nightmare world, entered freely and by the reader’s own will. And since horror can be many, many things and go in many, many directions, that guided nightmare ride can shock, educate, illuminate, threaten, shriek, and whisper before it lets the readers loose.”

Technically “horror” is revulsion AFTER an event, while terror is dread BEFORE an event — but in fiction we lump the two together. The “shark music” helped ramp up the terror level in Jaws, while the victims’ bodies create the revulsion.

People read horror for many reasons. Horror can satisfy the need for a thrill (like a roller coaster). The monster/villain/menace can be a metaphor for real life events — like Godzilla and all those giant spiders/ants from 1950s films as metaphors for nuclear war.

Examples (ones that scare ME)

• Cujo and Jaws both rely on the unexpected monster — attacks out of the blue on victims trapped in the dubious safety of a vehicle.
• The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby use old school religious evil — the devil.
• There are several varieties of group devolution: Lord of the Flies, The Lottery, Fahrenheit 451, and 1984 — where the society itself is the threat.
• Fear of the crazy person next door, or the random stranger are used in The Collector, Misery, Silence of the Lambs, and The Illustrated Man.
• “Science gone wrong” got its start with Frankenstein, but lives on in movies like Jurassic Park.
• The Haunting of Hill House (the book) explores the boundaries between supernatural and insanity.
• The Amityville Horror (the book) shares with Jaws (the book) a financial subplot — the victims can’t afford to flee the villain.

What readers want: suspense, unexpected or shocking ending, believable characters, believable setting, unrelenting pace, something left to the imagination (especially when it comes to gore) — like the way we never get a good look at the monster in the first Alien movie.

What readers DON’T want: too much detail, giving away the ending, gore for no purpose, illogical actions — like the teenager who goes down in the dark basement after they know a murderer/monster is on the loose.

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Blood in Southern Waters (Capclave 2013: why set vampire stories in the South?)

I don’t usually write vampire stores, but I set my urban fantasy stories in the South — New Orleans (NOLA) specifically, for several reasons — so I can see why it would be a top choice for setting a vampire story (except of course for Mr. King, who sets everything in New England).

• NOLA is a 24-hour city–it’s not unusual for folk to be wandering the streets at all hours.
• Costumes are common–not just during Mardi Gras–so strangely dressed folks won’t get a second look from locals.
• Most of the tourists are drunk–making them easy targets
• Lots of spooky locations: the Quarter, old plantation houses, swamps
• There is a history of belief in the supernatural–voodoo, zombies, witches
• Many readers are familiar with the location–I’ve been there several times myself.

To me, Louisiana is the ultimate setting for horror–especially vampires. It has such dramatic contrasts, from fancy hotels to seedy bars. There is great music, even in the alleys; and distinctive food in five star restaurants and tiny stands. Where else can you find voodoo shops on every corner, and window displays that put sex toys next to statues of the Virgin Mary? The opening montage of True Blood captures so much of the culture–showing how easy it is to find a creepy factor in some Southern traditions.

Many best-selling vampire novels are set in NOLA. Anne Rice took vampires out of the coffin to be interviewed. Charlaine Harris took them mainstream and made them fun (and sexy). Laurell K. Hamilton made them sexy (and kinky).

 

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Yurt Talk Part 2: Anthology workshop

This is a workshop I was invited to give to the Carroll County chapter of the Maryland Writers Association. Several of the members participated in an anthology I produced in 2012: That One Left Shoe. They are now ready to do another anthology, so I was asked to outline the steps needed. This was given in April 2014 in the Yurt at Piney Run Park. If you find it useful, donate by clicking the button.

Decisions needed

  1. Type of Anthology (fiction, poetry, memoir, non-fiction, mixed)
  2. Theme (word or phrase, season, location, event, profession)
  3. Submission Guidelines (genre, length, format, content restrictions)
  4. Division of Labor (selection, editing, formatting, marketing)

Type of Anthology
The first decision you should make is the type of anthology you want to produce. Take into account that authors write in different styles, especially important when you are dealing with an established community, like a writers group or a civic organization. You can choose to limit an anthology to one type: fiction, poetry, memoir, or non-fiction. Or you can allow authors to write in the style they are comfortable with, as long as it fits your theme. This also applies to genres like historical, horror, adventure, mystery, romance, fantasy, science fiction, etc. You may get more sales if you stick with genres closely related to your theme, but you make it easier for your authors by leaving things more open. For example, That One Left Shoe was mixed in types and genres (erotica was not accepted, because the end product needed to be family friendly).

Theme
The theme must be decided on before you issue the call for submissions. It’s common for genre anthologies to use a holiday theme (e.g. Moonlight and Mistletoe is a werewolf/Christmas anthology). Time-based themes might be seasons, holidays, anniversaries, or even a time of day. Themes can also be based around events, either historical or upcoming events. Instead of a specific event, you might choose generic events like graduation, birth, first job, loss, revenge, etc. A location can also be used as a theme. It can be a specific location, like the Eldersburg Library, the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C, or Carroll County. It can be more generic, like a gas station, a restaurant, a backyard, a lake, a school. There have been several movies made that use an object to tie together a group of stories–often it is a gun or a car. If you pick a specific object, then the description needs to be locked down up front. A profession could also be used as a theme–I’ve read several anthologies that use teachers as central characters (one is Tales Out of School).

Submission Guidelines
Once you have your type and theme set, you can finalize the submission guidelines:

  • opening and closing dates, acceptance decision date, target publication date
  • minimum and maximum lengths (word count for prose, line count for poetry)
  • any restrictions on genre or subject matter
  • file format and means of submission
  • financial considerations (sale price, royalty distribution)
    It is common for many group anthologies to donate royalties to a specific cause. This reduces the paperwork required, and is especially appropriate when the primary purpose of the anthology is giving the contributors a publishing credit. Another financial consideration is allowing author purchase discounts that allow room for resale profit.

Division of Labor
Although you can have one person do it all, you could also spread the load across several team members. You do need one person to take the lead for keeping things on schedule. Decide what the acceptance criteria are to be–does every member get a piece in the anthology, or is there a gatekeeper assessing the professionalism of each submission? Other tasks that need to be done are editing (at a minimum to ensure consistent punctuation and spelling style), formatting for publication, the publishing itself, and promoting/marketing the finished work. The formatting has to wait until the editing is complete, but promotion can start earlier. Another consideration is cover design, and whether you want any interior images.

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Yurt Talk Part 1: Tips for Writers

This post is an overview of an invited talk I gave to the Carroll County Chapter of the Maryland Writers Association, April 2014, in the Yurt at Piney Run Park. The invitation asked me to describe how I do what I do, with the number one question being “how do you find the time?” If you find the info useful, click the Donate button.

Making time for writing

  • Always carry a notepad and pen or pencil to jot notes, send yourself email or voicemail–you never know what might trigger an idea.
  • Make use of waiting time; even if not actually writing text, you can: outline plots, note story ideas, make lists of rhyming words (part of my poetry writing process is to explore rhymes for subject-related words), select character names.
  • Use TV time to write or edit — often I use the TV as background noise, but if I’m doing detailed writing I turn it off.
  • Make use of “second sleep” phenomena — Many people have two sleep sessions a night, with a period of wakefulness in between. Recent studies have shown that this was a common pattern before the advent of electricity (and artificial light)–it’s even referenced in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. This mid-night wakefulness can be used as writing time, free from normal household distractions.

Improving your craftsmanship

  • Examine commercially published books carefully to see what is in the front matter, and how they are formatted. Look specifically at the genre you are writing to see trends in cover design, back cover blurbs, and chapter headings.
  • Attend panels and workshops at writers conferences, make use of online tutorials. Specific recommendation of Allen Wold’s plotting workshop at Capclave.
  • Get organized: for short fiction or poetry you really do need a spreadsheet to track submission status, for novels you need to track characters and settings, for business you need to track expenses and mileage.

Marketing your writing and yourself

  • Network! Use business cards, bookmarks, speaking engagements, local groups, online groups (FaceBook, LinkedIn), conventions, blogging. Be prepared with an “elevator speech” to answer two questions, “what do you write?” and “what’s your book about?”
  • Make yourself memorable at conventions: sit up front or on an aisle (where you can be seen from the podium); be prepared to ask a “smart question” (read the speaker bios, so you can reference something specific about their expertise); if you encounter speakers later, thank them for the info they shared in their panel.
  • Have a “go bag” ready for events (saves time and reduces risk of forgetting something vital). I use a rolling cart with: my books, business cards, bookmarks, tablecloth, receipt book, table decoration, clear plastic bookstands, and misc. office supplies (scissors, velcro, binder clips, notepad, pens). Several members of the Carroll County group participated in a book signing event at the Mount Airy Library last December, and stood out by their attention to detail. For table decoration, Kerry Peresta had a scented candle and a laptop presentation; she used a red tablecloth to bring out the color in her book cover. Jack Downs had a small Christmas tree (seasonal), a baby buggy (featured on his book cover), and calendars of his upcoming appearances. I displayed a blue dragon statuette and used blue table draping to tie to my imprint, Blue Dragon Press. Other writers had houseplants and/or posters of their book covers. Several had signs advertising their availability for speaking engagements.

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A-Z exercise: Eat It!

This piece was the result of a challenge to write a short story of 26 sentences, starting with the letters of the alphabet, in order. It was fun.

All the muffin needed to taste perfect was a swipe of butter.
But real butter was dairy, so she would have to settle for margarine.
Country Crock was fast becoming a staple of her diet.
Denying herself the comforting taste of dairy products was getting tiresome.
Especially difficult was not being able to eat cheese or ice cream.
Frozen yogurt was out, but she never liked it anyway and so didn’t care.
Gluten was still allowed, thank god; she hoped that wouldn’t change — cutting out bread was unthinkable.
Her food allergies were definitely taking over her life.
Insulin resistance affected her menu too, limiting the carbs (bread, potatoes, etc.) that she was allowed.
Just when she’d find a food she liked and wasn’t allergic to, she’d find that it spiked her blood sugar.
Kitchens had become depressing places, with their displays of foods she couldn’t eat.
Luckily, she could still eat dark chocolate.
Mmmm, she relished the velvety texture of the designer bars with their high cacao count.
No pale product would do for her; milk chocolate was for babies.
Only the pure stuff could satisfy all her cravings and make up for disallowed foods.
Popcorn was another solace: the fiber in it offset the carbs, and she enjoyed its crunchiness.
Quite fed up with restrictions–she wondered if one could live on chocolate-drizzled popcorn.
RDAs bedamned, she could get vitamins from pills.
Surely there must be some daily dose to make up for the now forbidden meat, fruit, and veggies.
The last crumb of the muffin tumbled to the ground.
Undaunted, she turned to her booklet to read the ingredient lists of her target foods.
Velveeta–surely that’s not REAL cheese–might it skirt her dairy allergy just as well as the veggie stuff did?
What about hotdogs and bologna made from pork and/or turkey–they must taste okay or stores wouldn’t carry them.
X-ing out all the stuff she could no longer have wiped out most of the grocery ads, but there were a few items left.
YES!
Zwieback begone, tonight she would EAT!

Posted in Flash Fiction, Philosophy of Life | 1 Comment

Artist Tools Panel: Balticon 2013

This is the first in a series of outlines/summaries of panel discussions I have participated in at various SFF (Scifi/Fantasy) conventions (cons). While not capturing the entire discussion, they are representative outlines of panel topics in my portfolio (for future events). If you find them helpful, click the donate button.

The subject of this panel was “Tools for Artists”, with participants being asked to identify low cost alternatives in both traditional and digital media.

Interests. The first consideration is to identify the interest of the audience–what do they create? Artists at SFF cons may create a variety of products: fine art, illustration, comics/graphic novels, videogames, social network games (think Farmville or Angry Birds), sculpture, soft sculpture, or costume design.

On the Balticon panel we had a sculptor, a gamer, a graphic novelist, and a fine artist who has designed sets for Star Trek movies and had his paintings used for science museum exhibits and for book covers. As an artist, I have done book covers and illustrations, designed characters for D&D games, and create custom portraits of clients as fantasy characters or zombies.

Markets. Work created for one sales venue may have other markets as well. For example, images intended as wall art may also be used for calendars or tee shirts. Panelists discussed experiences with turnkey markets such as RedBubble, CafePress, and ImageKind. ImageKind and RedBubble have more options for wall art; CafePress has more options for merchandise (tees, mugs, etc.). Those sites have the advantage of allowing direct customer purchase, so that you don’t have to stockpile an inventory. But that convenience comes with higher prices per item. If you are selling pieces in person and your sales volume justifies it, you should look for a local printer (takes costs down from $10 or more to under a dollar, depending on volume). For archival quality, look for giclee prints–these can even be printed on canvas. It’s also good to have several sizes so you can offer different price points.

Reproduction. Printing methods are independent of the original media. You might be scanning an image done with traditional media, or printing out an image created with digital only. In either case you need to be aware of differences in color gamuts. Images on a computer screen are displayed in RGB (Red/Green/Blue) — the additive color system. Images printed with laser printers using toner use CMYK (Cyan/Magenta/Yellow/Black) — the subtractive color system. Even if a printing company requests RGB, it is a good idea to preview your images in CMYK — to be sure you don’t lose definition. Greens are especially problematic. I’ve had an illustration given dimension by using three shades of green for highlights and shadows, go completely flat when all three shades printed as the same color. In addition to the differences in color gamut, you should know the intended final size and medium/resolution before you start. You can’t go bigger with a digital image without losing quality. Even going smaller can be a problem, depending on the amount of detail in your image.

Traditional Media. A discussion of traditional media covered: pencil, pen & ink, markers, colored pencil, pastels, charcoal/conte, paint (acrylic, oil, watercolor), sculpture, photography (film or digital), collage, printmaking/etching, and silkscreen. We also discussed some more unusual materials, like tea, coffee, dirt, clay, blood (in case of zombie apocalypse), charred sticks, chirt rocks, and drier lint. The discussion of sculpture materials included both recycling and upcycling (duct tape, plastic bags, coat hangers, pantyhose). Look for more articles in the future about recycling/upcycling as I record my adventures in costume production. The artist at the right markets prints from originals crafted in dryer lint. She also created this dress using her supply of ziplock bags filled with different colored lint.

Digital Media. Digital drawing tools can be expensive, but there are some lower cost alternatives. Photoshop versions from 7.5 to CS2 and beyond are top of the line, as is Illustrator. Photoshop is pixel-based; Illustrator is vector based. Other tools that panelists are audience members had used include: Gimp (pixel-based), Picasa, Xara3D (good for speciallized titling), Inkscape (vector-based), Photoshop Express (lower cost–has no layers but okay for photo editing) and FontForge (font creator and editor).

Input Methods. Digitizing tools can be costly, but don’t have to be. Most recommended for price/performance is the Wacom “Bamboo” tablet. For really low tech you can get by with a mouse or thumbpad. (Take a look at my digital art portfolio — all created using Photoshop 7.5 and the thumbpad on a Vaio laptop. Another type of digitizing is getting an image produced by another method into your computer. You can use a digital camera (use a camera stand for more precise results) or a scanner. For really low tech you can use an office copier to make a transparency of a line drawing, then tape the transparency to your screen screen and use the mouse to copy the drawing.

Variations. Mixed media can add originality to your work. Some people use digital tools to alter images produced by traditional methods (like adding spatial distortions or color remapping). Use of layers in Photoshop makes it easy to reuse pieces in new combinations. One artist I know does animal portraits digitally, then puts paw prints in paint across the giclee-on-canvas output.

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My First Rifle

for his fifth birthday, Davey got
a Cricket rifle, single shot

though it was loaded by mistake
a single shot is all it takes

the present was so gaily wrapped
no sign how badly judgement snapped

to make and sell the Chipmunk line
real guns, for children by design

we are so careless with our boys
providing weapons as their toys

the gun debate is loud and long
but this time they are surely wrong

can anyone defend the need
to arm kids still too young to read?

c. 5/5/13

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No Pizza for Me

I’m allergic to the sauce
and to Italian cheeses
so growing up (and later)
we made our own mock pizzas

Crescent rolls spread flat
were topped off with velveeta
I must say they went fine
with my limeade “margarita”

Work’s monthly pizza outings
were quite a trial for me–
even though I searched the menu
there was nothing I could eat

But I so loved the baking smell
of a thin and flakey crust
and the texture of the edges
coated with a flour-y dust

When hiding takeout bags got old
to Cook I made my plea
“make me a small round special
with just crust and ground beef”

A pizza with no sauce or cheese?
they thought I must be nuts
but I stayed firm in my resolve
with no ifs, ands, or buts

I got just what I ordered
a sauceless ground beef pie
and though it looked quite funny
I ate it with delight

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Five Million Shades of Green

Set the clock to spring
and the earth will bring
five million shades of green

End the winter’s drought
when we’ve done without
five million shades of green

No more the gray-blue shades
of darker evergreens that fade:
juniper, holly, fir and pine,
crutches they, to hold the line
all throughout the cold and wet
so our eyes will not forget
five million shades of green

Avocado, emerald, kelly,
froggy back and snakelet belly,
limey-lemon and lemony-lime,
grapes a bursting on the vine,
beans and peas and carrot tops,
tendrils from a dozen crops,
lettuce, cabbage, new-mown hay,
streaks of dawn at break of day,
algaed rocks in rushing streams,
minnows flashing silver gleams,
moss and clover, melon rinds,
baby needles on the pines,
clinging vines and wild duck eggs,
grassy stains on children’s legs

Flee the cities, shed your shoes,
frolic as a child would choose!
Drink in all that you can get
so your eyes will not forget
five million shades of green

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